Honoring yourself as a sacred sensual entity
is at the root of Sexual Well-Being.
Sex, as Marvin Gaye has astutely observed, is capable of healing. Studies are showing that arousal and a healthy sex life may lead to greater longevity, a stronger heart, an improved ability to ward off pain, a more robust immune system and even protection against certain cancers, not to mention lower rates of depression. Furthermore, the act of intercourse burns about 200 calories, the equivalent of running vigorously for 30 minutes (Time magazine, 2004).
That being said, do not run out and start doing the hanky panky with the nearest two-legged individual! Sex has the power both to make life (babies) and take it (AIDS). As such, it should be taken seriously. There are approximately 15,000,000 new cases of Sexually Transmitted Disease reported every year, with a majority occuring in college students. Of course, many cases are never reported. Chances are pretty good that in a casual sexual encounter you won’t know whether your partner is carrying an infection until it shows up on your chart. Add this to the fact that many STD’s don’t always show symptoms. Needless to say, who you sleep with is a determining factor in the course of your life.
When and if you do make the critical decision to “get down,” remember that it isn’t just about bang-bang-boom. Durex sums it up nicely: “Sexual wellbeing is a balance of physical, emotional and sociological factors. It’s about protecting and nurturing the sexual health of both you and your partner, getting the most from your sex life and feeling confident and happy about yourself. Sexual wellbeing is a fundamental part of human wellbeing and health.”
Since this is a Wellness blog, I thought it worthwhile to delve further into the more joyful aspects of sex. Impressively, four hours after I cleared this plot with my supervisor, a friend called to invite me to…a free tantra workshop. Dilligent Wellness Journalist that I am, I went.
Tantra is much more than a variety of twisty pretzel positions and naked handstands. In practice, it is an exploration of inner spirit, vital essence, and profound connection. It is a dynamic sexual meditation! And, it distinctly reminded me of the power and beauty of sexuality—something that Western culture has sold for profit. After this workshop, I am seriously contemplating a stint of celibacy while I develop a deeper relationship with my body and nurture other meaningful forms of intimacy. Then, I will rejoin the ranks of the sexually active with more awareness. I won't settle for anything less than mind-blowing, time/space-bending, make-your-toenails-curl sex.
Think about it.
Scenario: Girl/Boy meets Girl/Boy. Ego-driven mating dance ensues. In accordance with expectations, within a few months they’re having sex. If they like each other enough to keep doing it, they pair off and become a couple, establishing a pattern of “intimacy.” But they live in separate worlds of fear, and feelings of insecurity set a back-drop for their relationship. Over time their dating habit gets old and they break up. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Imagine if you started with intimacy (really opening and exploring and sharing and trusting), before you dropped your drawers. How much more joyful would sex be? For one thing, you wouldn’t be worried about how you look naked. You wouldn’t have to guess whether the other really liked you or not. Sex would be an opportunity for total self-exposure: being yourself, enjoying yourself, and loving yourself. Then, you extend this gift to your partner, that s/he might do the same. It becomes an enormously empowering, and enlightening, exchange.
Go Ask Alice! is a very useful website for questions about absolutely anything even remotely related to sex. Remember: you are the gate-keeper of your sexual arena. Keep it tight.
