Seeing as how we are each one-of-a-kind, we have unique perspectives. Rather than making this into a point of contention, however, let’s take the opportunity to broaden our horizons.
This isn’t always easy. Often we associate our own perspective with being right. But in order to be right, something or someone else becomes wrong. It’s a hairy scenario with no option for harmony or connection.
Summer of 2008: A busy bee, I was almost always gone, or on the move, or in my room doing homework. My roommate Vanessa would occasionally make comments like, “Oh, where are you going now?” or, “Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?” As I left the house, I could see that she was upset, but I couldn’t understand what her problem was. From my perspective, I was simply living my life, doing my thing. I had nothing against Vanessa, except for the usual piling up of dirty dishes and cat hair in the hallway. Finally, after about a month of uncomfortable and awkward interactions, she came into my room crying. It turned out that from Vanessa’s point of view, I was avoiding her, rejecting her friendship. Her feelings were hurt because we weren’t spending time together—something she had envisioned when we became roommates—and she had been taking my busy schedule personally.
Being able to communicate our individual perspectives made all the difference. Once I knew how she was feeling, I made an effort to sit in the kitchen when I had some free time and ask about her day. I gave her more hugs. With an expanded understanding (Vanessa, I still like you and want to be your friend) we were able to enjoy eachother once again, and the household rejoiced!
In the figure above, I have illustrated the nature of perception. Joe’s field of vision is depicted by the sun, and Moe’s field of vision is depicted by the moon. The margin of common vision is typically much smaller than the area of individual perspective, since Joe and Moe come from different backgrounds, cultures, and life experience. What will be harvested from their interaction? Sun meets moon or sun versus moon?We are empowered when we connect, communicate, and compromise.
In the big picture, the ultimate truth is that both realities exist, sun and moon alike, regardless of the opinion of one about whether or not the reality of the other is valid. You cannot discount the reality of another person any more than you can discount your own reality.
Two people’s perspectives can be as different as night and day—and we need both. When we accept this truth, we can work toward understanding.
If you are stuck in a “First Person” narration, you’re literally missing out on the rest of the world and its wonderful diversity. Expand your capacity for fun, friendship, love, and laughter. Make room for multiple realities! Your world will be a bigger, richer place.
After all, when you come right down to it, how many people speak the same language even when they speak the same language?
-Russel Hoban
0 comments:
Post a Comment