There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. We are charged with deciding where to put our feet…and there are many challenges to meet when it comes to making both small and large choices during the day. When we know we want to create positive change and yet find that something—inertia, perhaps—seems to keep us trodding the same beaten trails, it can feel as though real change is out of reach.
I know that caffeine, processed sugar, and alcohol are toxic for my body. I know that eating that third helping of mashed potatoes is going to make me too full, and too tired to function effectively after dinner. Where is the disconnection between my head and my feet (and hands)? I find that I go through cycles: healthy eating punctuated by a few days of debauchery, weeks without caffeine followed by indulged coffee cravings, months without drinking and then an entire bottle of wine down the hatch. I push for sustainable change, and then find myself swinging back into old patterns.
Thich Nhat Hanh calls this “habit energy.” In his book of Zen teachings, Be Free Where You Are, he writes:
"Every one of us has habit energies that push us to say and do things we don’t want to say or do. These habit energies damage us and our relationships to other people. Intellectually we know that saying or doing a certain thing will cause a lot of suffering, and yet we still say or do it. And once you say or do something, the damage is done. Then you regret it. You say, “I am not going to say or do that thing again.” But though you say this with sincerity, the next time the situation presents itself, you say or do the same thing. This is the power of habit energy.”
Whether we suffer from repeated relationship dramas, unhealthy eating and/or drinking patterns, or other compulsive behaviors, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends the following: when habit energy rears its gnarled head, recognize it, smile at it, and let it be. There is no need to fight or judge OR indulge; the simple act of mindful acknowledgment is enough to knock it off center stage. Say, “Hello, there, habit energy. I hear you, but you are not the boss of me,” with absolute confidence and deep, loving breaths.
At first I thought this sounded overly simplistic. But as I work with mindful awareness and breathing, I find that my own voice—that which represents the change I want to see—becomes stronger, and the habit energy becomes weaker. It’s like developing new muscle memory. Even my slip-ups don’t have the staying power they used to; I find that I regain my footing much more quickly, and with less energy wasted on self-criticism. And, when I look back, I find that I’ve come a long way forward.
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