Wellness Journalism: Relatively Speaking

We human folk live in constant relationship to one another.

We share personal space.

So here is a very important question:

How does your companion (Partner, Friend, Family member) make you feel?

Wellness Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Have Abusive Relationships

Companions should raise you up and inspire you to be your best!

Relationship Abuse is a pattern of abusive and manipulative behaviors used to maintain power and control.

Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, sexual or physical. It can be verbal or non-verbal. It can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. While statistics show that approximately 1 in 3 women will experience relationship abuse at some point in life (yikes!), women abuse relationships too. Abuse can occur in any type of interaction, and it tends to escalate over time.

Red Flags

Does your companion repeatedly and wrongly accuse you?

Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid angering your companion?

Does your companion make excuses for behavior, for example, by saying it's because of alcohol or drugs, or because s/he can't control their temper, or that s/he was "just joking"?

Does your companion prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?

Has your companion ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?

Does your companion make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy or inadequate?


Even if none of these red flags are waving in your atmosphere, they might be flying high in the skies of someone close to you. In fact I will go ahead and guarantee that you know somebody who is currently, at this very moment, engaged in a less-than-nurturing relationship. Unfortunately, many people in abusive situations find reasons to stay put, depending on the degree to which they are conditioned to tolerate unhappiness.

The world is wide, and there are infinite numbers of possibilities and combinations. You could be any where; with any one...there is no reason to stay in a relationship that brings you down.
If you need help getting out, just ask!

There are many resources available.
If you think you or a loved one might be in an abusive relationship, contact:
The Sexual Assault & Violence Prevention Resource Center (SARC) ,
Talk to a counselor here at UCSD,
or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).

You have a choice.
Surround yourself with people who honor and respect you!